Born to a military family, I spent most of my life on a spaceship. Once I reached 18, I joined the Air Force, like my parents. I was introduced to the Stargate Program, where I would travel from world to world, seeking out new life, friends, and technology. I came across a planet whose populous was slaves who were ruled by a man named Nuke, who had a parasitic snake attached to his brain. I stole his magic staff of power and freed the people so that they may use the sacred forums as they pleased. I zapped Nuke with it as well, and thus he became an ascended being; a higher power living in an astral plane. He had also lost weight and was granted delightfully fresh breath. I then proceeded to MC Hammer slide outta there. Since then, I have been regarded as "Hero" Throughout the community.
Then I woke up, and realized that I suck.
- 10 Jan 2012
- 1619 (#89)