Seems like it ought to be easier to go about things online, without worrying about the drama generated by others. Not sure why, but people really are determined to think the worst of me irregardless of what the truth is. Wish I was in a position to better defend myself. There seems to be a serious disconnect from who I am and what others are saying, a major distortion. Every time I turn around I feel like people expect some kind of explanation for anything and everything. Personally, I wouldn't know how since I never know exactly what it is that's being said. Except, I need to keep busy right now anyway.
The slander of my name and reputation is certainly not helping things. I tried. I really gave people as much of a chance as I could- I really tried to be myself, to do my own thing... not at anyone's expense mind you, just do what I do. The trouble is, you can't do that if people don't allow it. I don't really think it's too much to ask, but- I'm only one guy and not a group, so what I have to say might be considered less important. Doesn't stop me from wanting to say it, or make it any less true. If I've tried to have any amount of anonymity it was for this very reason, the fact that I haven't acted under false pretenses seems to have gone unnoticed.
I have allot I've been working on lately. Was hoping to share it too, but that won't be happening unfortunately. It might seem like a funny joke to people, but truth be told this is my life and livelihood that's being played with. It's effecting my ability to find work, which is serious. You'd think it wouldn't be this difficult to express myself... not really sure why it has to be. For awhile I was really holding myself back allot, tip-toeing but I mean at this point, it's been years now. Maybe some day, the people at the center of this thing will realize what a shit move it is to rip into a persons reputation, or how it makes them look for doing it. May others be kinder to you when it becomes your turn...
- 04 Nov 2011
- 392 (#1046)
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